Is it just me, or does there seems to be more than a bit of negativity swirling around these days?
After a very unpleasant back-and-forth with a couple of the parents in WenYu’s Chinese class over a planned activity, I wrote a long post about it all but then decided to trash it. While it felt good to get it all out and down on paper so to speak, when I reread what I had written the next day I found it too whiny, and not reflective of who I am. I am basically a glass half-full kind of girl, an optimist about most things most of the time, and the sullen, negative voice in that writing felt like it belonged to someone else. I did not want to be that person.
I’ve had my share of hurt, heartbreak, illness, misery, loss, betrayal and violence during my life, and have several times wanted to crawl in a hole and feel sorry for myself for a good long time. I’ve been really, really, really angry. I’ve gone through a spell where I wanted to leave this world. But overall I’ve always focused on the positive, on looking forward, accepting that the past is past and that “woe is me” never really gets anything accomplished in the end.
I’m at a stage in my life though where for the most part it just isn’t worth the effort it takes to be negative, or at least not for long. I’m not a Pollyanna though. I get angry, I get frustrated, and I get mad about things. As tough as I think I am, I can still be easily hurt, and it takes me a long time to get over those. But I stick up for myself, my kids and what I believe, and I’m assertive when I need to be. I’ve just found I get a whole lot more done and the world turns more smoothly when I see my glass in life as half full instead of half empty. I honestly believe the main reason we’ve made it as far as we have on our journey to becoming debt free is that both Mr. Losing It and I have stayed positive and continue to look forward, hard as that’s been some times.
Written on a 4″ x 6″ card that sits on my desk is a set of thoughts I’ve collected over the years, ones that, whether I knew it or not, have guided me and continue to guide me through both good and bad times, and help me re-focus when I’m feeling out-of-sorts. I think they’re worth sharing:
- However good or bad a situation is, it will change. How I face those changes and what I make of them is up to me.
- Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful. Including relationships, sad to say.
- Frame every disaster with these words: “In five years will this matter?” Or one year? Or a month? Or a week?
- Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. In my case, I’ve probably always had more than I needed but didn’t want to accept it. I have been incredibly blessed.
- Your children only get one childhood. My job is to love them. All the time and unconditionally.
- Not “Why me?” but “Why not me?” Why am I so special that bad things should only happen to someone else?
- Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift. I am grateful for every day of the life I’ve had.
- Growing old beats the alternative.
- The most important thing is that you loved. Yes, yes and yes again.
- The best is yet to come.
Lovely post and I couldn’t agree more. Thanks
Thank you!
Thanks for the reminder! I’ve been wallowing the last couple of days due to my first experience with major health issues–not life-threatening but serious enough that they have to be treated at the nearest medical center which is 220 miles away over an icy 2 lane highway or a $300 plane trip. And then we found out yesterday that our dog will most likely need knee surgery. FInding it hard to stay upbeat and focused on debt repayment with this stuff looming! But we really are very lucky, not in the least because we have good medical care and a great vet.
I do agree that age has made me less likely to see everything as a crisis–most things seem to be resolved in a few weeks anyway, and it’s just not worth the effort anymore. Getting enough sleep and regular exercise helps keep me on a more even keel, too.
Oh , I definitely wallow too at times. And it is hard to stay upbeat at times, but asking myself if this really is the crisis I’m making it out to be or just a blip along the way helps me to pick myself up, dust myself off and keep going.
Hope everything turns out OK for you (and your dog). I’ll be thinking good thoughts . . . .
Love your collection of sayings. Keep in mind that when you have to deal with unpleasant people it is about them not the topic under discussion. Sometimes the only reply that is needed is “Wow!” or “Really?” and walk away.
Sometimes I don’t even say wow or really. I just walk away. It is about them.
Awwww, what a great list. I don’t think I can paste a picture in the comments so I’m posting a URL instead… one of my very favorite “glass half full” cartoons ever: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3-JPVcIlShI/TsIXNCibZFI/AAAAAAAABP0/bRBOshrOKvc/s1600/Farside.gif
Why did Gary Larson have to stop? Heavens, I miss his cartoons. This one was laugh out loud funny (as many of his are). Thank you!
I am going to write down the sayings too. Thank you for sharing them!
Several of these came from a good friend who had to have heart surgery. Finding out he was sick got him to re-evaluate how he wanted to live the rest of his life. He’s fine now, and I’m grateful he’s still here, and for the wisdom he passed along.
Love this. I was thinking at work today, when I really really wanted to lash out to someone who was acting terribly. A few years ago, I totally would have typed out a long snarky email, & sent it. Today, I asked myself what that would accomplish & skipped it. I find that my life is much easier when I divest myself of much of the workplace drama that others seem to get wrapped up in.
I keep a “letter file” – I write when I’m angry and then put the letter away rather than sending it, although I have sent a couple. Just writing it all out seems to help me think straight about it and feel better. I always go through them later (usually a few months), and some I keep but most I send to the trash because I’ve let it go.
I’m a half full kinda gal myself. Thank you for this list of thoughts.
Thanks for your post. I’m going to copy your index card for my own bulletin board. It is so important to keep things in perspective. Thanks for reminding me of that!