It’s been easy as we’ve traveled on our path of becoming debt free to find fault over and over again with choices we made in the past, things that in hindsight we wouldn’t or might not have done if we knew we’d end up with so much debt. It’s been much harder to stop and look at or for the things we did right, things that were difficult or counter-intuitive at the time, that will provide for us in the future.
Here are four things we did right in the past, even though it wasn’t obvious at the time:
- Staying in the navy. My husband ended up serving 22 years in the navy, but retiring from the service was never a sure thing. It was a good life, but a hard life too, with lots of moves and deployments, and other time spent away and apart from each other and family. But, because he did stay in to retire, we have a guaranteed income every month for life, and best of all, outstanding health insurance for life as well. That income has paid our rent or mortgage ever since he retired, and we’ve never had to worry about health care for us or our children. We never thought about what it would be like not to have those things while he was on active duty, but we are grateful every day now that we stuck it out.
- Sticking it out at a miserable job. Mr. Losing It works for a great company, at a job he loves and with people he enjoys working with and for. It wasn’t always that way though, and he went through a really bad stretch a few years ago working under the Manager from Hell. Miserable doesn’t begin to describe it, for a variety of reasons. It was to the point that I almost begged him to quit because we couldn’t take his misery any more. He looked for, interviewed for and was offered other jobs during this time, but none of them could offer the benefits that his current employer provided, so he would decide to stay a little longer while co-workers headed for other employment. Two years ago he was offered his dream position within the company with a boost in pay. We still are enjoying the amazing benefits this company provides, and he will retire next year with a nice pension, something we would have given up if he had left. (The manager was eventually demoted).
- Our cheap house. When we bought our house nearly seven years ago, our goal was to find the cheapest house we could that was convenient to the girls’ schools. This house fit the bill perfectly. Friends and family couldn’t believe we bought this place, in this location, that we “could have done so much better.” But guess what? The house has not only held its value, it has increased in value and our neighborhood is now a desired location within the city. We could have afforded a much larger mortgage at the time, but every month I am so glad we bought our cheap little house and think about how things might have ended up if we hadn’t.
- Adoption. The biggest reason we have debt is because we adopted not once but three times in our mid-40s and early 50s. We knew with each adoption that we were spending or taking away from our retirement, from our future financial security, but we also knew it was the right thing for us to do, no matter the cost. Neither Mr. Losing It nor I have ever regretted what we have spent to bring these girls home and then raise them, but we thought we would have to work into our 80s because of this choice. However, because we have dependents under the age of 18, it turns out Mr. Losing It can retire early and receive extra Social Security benefits for the girls. By the time our youngest ages out, I will be eligible for my full-retirement Social Security and state pension. Because of our daughters we can afford to retire early and with a comfortable income.
While the bad choices or decisions are easy to come up with, what are some of the choices that you’ve made that you didn’t realize would turn out right, that would turn out to be a benefit or provide financial security?
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January 25th, 2012 at 8:22 am
We have chosen to live in a place we love–perhaps we could have made more money elsewhere, but we love the natural beauty and small town community where we are.
We chose not to have children. Neither of us felt a huge need to be parents so we didn’t. I’m not anti-child in any way but think you should REALLY want to have children before taking that path. It should be an intentional choice, not something that just happens.
I work at a relatively low-stress job that I like, with great co-workers.
We built our original house ourselves, so only have a small loan for an addition.
We moved my mom here almost 4 years ago. She lives in an apartment in town for now and not with us, but having her in the same town instead of thousands of miles away has greatly reduced the stress of helping with an aging parent. We are prepared to do the same for my MIL if needed.
Thanks for the shift in focus, on what we did right instead of our debt!
January 26th, 2012 at 5:14 pm
I think living where we love versus where we can make a living will be a primary factor in where we relocate. Sounds like you have made some terrific choices that work well for you!
January 25th, 2012 at 8:43 am
What a great reminder to look at what has gone well – even the difficult decisions that were stressful at the time.
January 26th, 2012 at 5:15 pm
We sort of surprised ourselves when we started looking at some of this stuff. We didn’t realize or think about what a difference those choices made long ago have today. It’s so easy to get trapped by what you did wrong and forget about the things that did go right.
January 25th, 2012 at 10:01 am
Wow. I sort of can’t imagine what it would be like to have things like pensions and health insurance that somebody else pays for. Nevertheless, I’ve found a way to live happily and job-free without either. (I have health insurance, It just costs me $250/month.) Counting one’s blessings is never a bad idea!
January 26th, 2012 at 5:20 pm
Believe it or not, these are not things we ever thought about as we went through life. Yes, we did get to a point with the navy (16 years) where we thought we might as well stick it out (my husband was pretty miserable those last few years though). We also didn’t use the insurance until just two years ago – we used his employer provided insurance because the military option used to be mess. It’s now pretty darn good, and VERY affordable. We had no idea about the extra social security either until a friend clued us in – it was nothing we planned on, and will only last a little less than 5 years, but will be enough to get us through until my retirement benefits kick in. I think the pension from my husband’s company will provide us with milk money. But we are very lucky and didn’t realize it until only just recently.
January 26th, 2012 at 2:30 pm
I’m glad that we moved back to the midwest, that we purchased a small house in an area that we love, and that my husband took a new job. It’s amazing to look back on the decisions we made that weren’t purely financial but now look great in hindsight.
January 26th, 2012 at 5:24 pm
Oh, I so agree! We have sometimes asked ourselves, “What were we thinking?” or “Tell me again why we did this?” and yet it seems that everything is going to turn out well in the end.
January 27th, 2012 at 6:01 am
I came across this blog post on edible plants in Hawaii and foraging and thought that you might find it interesting:
http://the3foragers.blogspot.com/2012/01/resources-identifying-wild-edible.html
January 29th, 2012 at 5:05 pm
This is a very interesting site – thank you for the link!
February 2nd, 2012 at 9:04 am
What a wonderful focus on the positive. You are so right, sometimes it is all too easy to focus on the mistakes. Thanks for the reminder!