I Got Tired

The other day I sat down to write a post and realized that I didn’t have one original thing to say about frugal living, getting rid of debt, decluttering, simple living, food waste (we had none). What was there to say that hadn’t been (better) said over and over by everyone else? Even I didn’t care how much I’d saved or spent on groceries, or paid down on of our debts or any of the other things I’ve blogged about.

This is not to say I don’t love reading how others are managing, what they’re doing and how they’re spending money or not, or saving or not. I do. I’m a voyeur (of sorts), and am thrilled to be regularly invited to peek at others’ efforts at simple, frugal living or how they’re managing their finances or to cheer them on their paths of toward goal achievement.

But I found I was tired of always thinking and worrying about money, finances, debt, budgets and whether I could do things cheaper or more frugally or more simply. That’s all I was thinking about, in fact, and I worried about it constantly. Every decision seemed to have become a burden. Where’s the cheapest meat this week? Save or pay extra on this bill? You know, Laura, we really should be paying down our debt rather than going camping this year. Will I ever use this again if I keep it? Stupid dogs! Not another trip to the vet! Declutter and get rid of this stuff now or wait until next month?

I decided to step away from the computer for a few days to catch my breath and think about other things that are important to me rather than worry about every little thing that came across my plate. I have been too wrapped up in thinking about money in all its many forms, about whether we were living the most frugal, simple life possible. I had honestly stopped thinking about or doing many of the things that I claim to enjoy.

No, I did not go crazy and go on a shopping spree. I read books and magazines, watched episode after episode of “Desperate Housewives” with my daughters and took a lot of walks. I cuddled and played with our dogs, who are getting old and won’t be around in a few more years. I dreamed about living in Hawaii. I decluttered my desk (a Herculean task) and most of our office room. I went on a date with my husband, to a reception at the Portland Art Museum, and had an absolutely terrific time, a date I initially wasn’t looking forward to because all I could think about was how much it cost, which in reality was actually very little.

Life happens, and I need to let it happen and stop thinking and worrying about money so much. Our bills get paid every month, our debt continues to decrease, and we have more than enough good, healthy food to eat. The wolf is not at our door. We’re all in exceptionally good health (knock on wood). We are incredibly blessed. We have a plan for our future, and I just need to stay on the road we’ve set for ourselves without worrying about every little pebble that we come across.

After nearly a week away, I greatly missed reading about others and what they’re doing. I want to be inspired again by others’ efforts and the joys of their daily lives.

And, I’m going to stop worrying so much and start loving the life I have more.